My Best Life

My Dad

My Dad Frank has evolved as a Dad. Growing up, was always a good provider to our family, a steadfast family man, never late to dinner. But Dad and I weren't that close.

The weird thing is that Dad and I did not become close until my divorce in 1995. Due to the circumstances surrounding our split, not many people were openly talking to me about my feelings and how I was coping. 

Surprisingly, Dad was the notable exception. He opened up my feelings, opened up with his as well. He has this uncanny ability to agree with me no matter what I say. One day, I would be extremely sad and melancholy about the demise of my marriage, and Dad would be mellow and sad with me. The next week, I might be indignant and angry about my awful lot in life. And Dad would also express his frustrations.

Certainly, there were times when my ramblings were factually incorrect. Or times when I was just feeling sorry for myself. But during that fragile time in my life, Dad decided to be my correction tape. He filled in all the blank spaces in my story. He filled all the holes in my boat. When I came out the other side of my grief, Dad was still there. Maybe a little less gratuitous, a little less worried, but steadfastly by my side. No one else stood by me like that. 

I was surprised when I realized that this man, my father, who is 35 years my senior, two generations removed in pop culture, was my ultimate best friend. But it was his simple love and commitment to me that made all the difference. He is still there, just a phone call or hop across town away.

As good friends lose their Dads, one by one, I am acutely aware how lucky I am to still have him in my life. He is still in good health, gives great hugs and experiments with new recipes he sees online or on the Food Network. I love his quirky little questions. "What is scoring?" he asked yesterday, referring to the process of using a knife to create small cuts in vegetables or meat before cooking.

I appreciate every second of my time with him. I'm trying to understand things from his era better. Which marbles in his prized marble collection are the most rare? Which pens in his pen collection are his favorites? Does he really need to collect pharmaceutical company pens that say "Flomax?"

Happy Father's Day, Pop. I love you.

Bailey's Graduation from DMACC

My daughter Bailey, who turns 20 today, graduated from Des Moines Area Community College. It was such a pleasure to see her confidently walk up and receive her degree.

She spent many hours at my house studying and slaving away over her assignments and papers. She doubted and fretted over what her major should be. But she perservered and conquered her fears. She took chances and ventured out into the world.

Here is the little bundle of joy that came into being 20 years ago today. She's still a radiant beam of light in my life.

For the next two years, she'll tackle a business degree at the U. of Iowa, and I'm sure she'll still ask for advice once in a while.

I love you Bailey, and congratulations on your achievement!

Happy Birthday, Father of My Children

Wherever you are out there, just know that your children still need you, still love you, are worried about you, and would like to have you in their lives. Just wanted you to know that.

Happy Birthday, tomorrow.

At Last, My Love Has Come Along

It's taken a while to get this post up. But Ii won't  let the time gone by diminish the love and pride I feel for having married Jim on June 7, 2009.

We are so different in so many ways, but in the ways that count we are so compatible. We both come from similar backgrounds and value family over anything. We both love to give back to the community. We love our kids and our extended families.

I waited fourteen long years to get married again, and Jim was worth the wait. In addition to gaining him as a wonderful husband, I also get two great additions: his daughter Deb, who lives in Denver, and his son Marcus who lives with Jim. It's great to call them family. They are great kids.
We got married in a short and sweet civil ceremony on the balcony of the Iowa State Historical Building in downtown Des Moines. The back drop was the gorgeous state capital building with its magnificent gold domes. To keep costs to a minimum, we only invited our parents, siblings and nieces and nephews. If you think about it, most weddings are just a bunch of traditions that have accumulated over time and become traditional in American weddings. That doesn't mean we have to pay homage to every one of the traditions. And we didn't. And it was still beautiful.

It's great to be married again.

My Baby's Last Prom Night

Tonight was bittersweet for me. My younger daughter Bailey's last prom night ever is tonight and for the last time, I went through the front porch ritual of taking prom pictures. As you can see, she looked absolutely beautiful.

There is something about seeing your last kid go through these last rituals of childhood and emerge an adult sometime between now and this fall when she becomes a college student. For her, it is a sense of new found freedom and the strong desire for her own space, her own rules and her own schedule. I remember wanting to move out of my parents' house so badly that I couldn't wait until it happened, so that last summer before college I made my own rules, much to my dad's dismay.
Bailey has a good head on her shoulders, so I think she'll be sensible, but I look forward to watching her find her own way.

I love you, Bailey Rachel. Have fun, my sweet girl. Love, Mom

Flowers from my backyard

This afternoon I spent a little time in my backyard with Trixie the Wonder Dog. She was sniffing for squirrels (the bane of her existence) and I was after pretty flowers. It's been so long since I had time on a beautiful spring day to just BE, I wanted to capture the moment, the flowers and share them with you. I also want to keep the memory for myself.

I collect unusual ceramic pieces, or ones that speak to me in some way. This particular tea pot belonged to my Grandma Celsi and I inheirited it when she died. I like the contrast in colors between the punch of yellow, shiny and smoooth, and the tangle of flowers. And of course, the flowers are my favorite color.

Happy Spring!

Iowa, You Make Me Smile!

  Today was the best day I remember having in a long time. I woke up early, walked past a crime scene on my walk with Trixie (ok, that wasn't so great), went to Panera and had breakfast with all my blog buddies and logged on for my morning news fix.

And there it was, plain as day. "Iowa Supreme Court unanimously upheld a lower court ruling that a state law banning marriage between same-sex partners is unconstitutional." WOW. What an unexpected and delightful surprise.

It was like 1965 all over again. (Not to mention 1839, when Iowa became the first state to ban slavery) Iowa has a long history of defending civil rights. My dear friend Merle Fleming was a member of the first Civil Rights Commission, which in cooperation with a Democratic legislature, wrote and enacted volumes of new civil rights legislation that historic year. I also happened to be the year my folks got married and the year I was conceived.

Merle would be so pleased to see that gay people in Iowa are finally legally able to have their relationships recognized. Because isn't that all people really need? Recognition for who they are, what they stand for, and that their life means just as much as the people next door? I think that this is what it's all about.

So excuse me, I have some more smiling to do.

Making Meatballs With Mom

When you grow up in an Italian family, you get used to what I like to call "group food projects." One of those is making a big batch of pasta sauce with meatballs. We make regular size meatballs for Sunday pasta, which are about the size of a golf ball. For a special dish called "pastachina" (pronounced pasta key-na) small meatballs (about the size of marbles) are traditionally mixed right in with the sauce and baked in with a bunch of cheese. The traditional recipe also includes sliced hard-boiled eggs. I don't put those in mine, but sometimes add a layer of spinach or ricotta cheese.

In any case, this "lasagne" is delicious and today Mom and I got together to make a big batch of meatballs. I am making four huge pans of pastachina for some co-workers. So, I took a little video of us making them and I poked fun at my Mom for her unusual meatball rolling style. Check it out.

Chelsey Gets Her Diploma...I'm So Proud!

I couldn't be more proud of my oldest daughter Chelsey. Last night, she graduated from Roosevelt High School in Des Moines. She looked just adorable in her cornflower dress that matched her eyes perfectly! Here's us immediately after the ceremony. I also took the liberty of taking a video and posting it to YouTube.

I love you so much, honey. Congratulations!

Target Has a Crappy Return Policy!

I spent part of my day today playing with children on the Target Facebook group. I posted a rant about how Target's return policy has turned against its customer. I received a bunch of angry rants from obvious Target groupies who defended the policy.

After pointlessly going back and forth with these little drones, I discovered a site that points out flaws in Target's customer return policy in people's own words. Nothing could be more powerful than that.